Its not time to dream, its time for action

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

I no longer want to live my life giving excuses out, like free samples at Costco.  I never really thought that I was one to gives excuses, but I was. I was the type of person that if something happened or something didn't happen and it was my fault the first things out of my mouth were excuses. Instead of looking at what has happened and owning up to it and doing something about it to make it ok. I was saying what ever I need to, so that I could be ok with what happened or didn't. I cant do that any more, I can't tell myself its ok to be fat, its ok to be lazy, its ok to lay in bed for another couple of hours.

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

Excuse get me no where, they do nothing to resolve a situation, they do not mend relationships. All they are, are wasted breaths falling on deaf ears. Think about it do we ever really listen to someone when they are giving us an excuse. If we do listen, is it not so that we can in our heads say "ya ok, whatever you say bro". 

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

I have ran out of excuses, and its about time. Its time for action, its time for results, its time for change. I used to be In love with the dream, instead of being in love with the work. The work is the thing that makes the dreams come true. Its the work that makes it gratifying to do anything in life. That idea is so simple, but its true. If all I do is dream of being a director, being healthy, dream of not being single, then none of those things will come true. Once we have the idea ( the dream) in our heads that is enough to launch us in the right direction. 

Now I know what some of you are thinking its not that easy, I want to loose weight but I cant find the time. Well if you have time to dream about it and you have time to think of an excuse why you cant do it, then your not spending your time wisely. Thats all I did was dream about who I wanted to become, how I wanted to look, the career that I wanted to have. I was never spending my time wisely always fixated on the dream and not the work. The more time that I spent on dreaming about the changes that I wanted in life the further away my dreams seemed. 

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

these are the things that I am going to do, to make sure that the dreams come true. One I am no longer going to feel sorry for myself. Im not going to ask the heavens why or how come, even if the answers to my questions were out there I still have to do the work. Thats the second thing I am going to do, I'm going to do the work and focus on that. Not the result of the work or the dream, but instead the things that it takes to make those dreams come true. The results will fallow the work and the dreams will become real. 

So what work do I need to do? Well what are my dreams? One I want to be heathy mentally and physically. Two I want to be a creative, more prosaically I want to be a storyteller. I can be a storyteller in so many medians but my dream is to be a photographer/cinematographer, a screenwriter, a film editor, and a movie director.  Third I want to be an independent adult, that changes the world, and those around me for the better. I have so many more dreams and they are all still possible but these are the ones that give me chills, that make every hair stand one end. These are the things that I dream about more then any other. 

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

Ok, so now what? Well its finally time to talk about the actual work that needs to be done. The work that has to be done to make the dreams come true. To be physically healthier, I have to do my work outs I have to do push ups every night before bed, I have to run three or more times a week. I have to lift weights five times a week, I have to go to the gym and put in the work. I have to eat smaller portions and more often, I have to eat the things that I know I should and less of the things that I know I shouldn't. To be a storyteller in my chosen mediums, I have to be a student of life and the world around me. I have to see the photos around me, looking for visual beauty in everything. I have to listen the different stories of the day, asking what if this or this happened. Then play them out how in my head and write them down. I have to become a better writer to become a screenwriter. By writing my blogs, by writing out the stories that I have created in my head, and by reading and writing more, i will become a better . For me to become an independent adult, I have to stop relying on those around me. I can effect positive changes in others lives, by making mine better. Hoping in some way my story allows others to learn or to be inspired to change for the better. I want nothing more then for my friends wildest dreams to come true, and I can help them by being there for them. I have to be around, I have to be present in there life. The only way that i can change the world is one person at a time, if I can only change one persons life, then I have changed the world for the better. Now the most important my mental health, I need to stop hiding in my room, I have to stop feeling sorry for my self I can no longer give an excuses to myself or to my friends for the things that I need to do. I have to change my state of mind I have to happier, I can do this by celebrating the wins. Sacrifice, is the one thing that makes things more rewarding. At the same time it is the one thing that makes the worth wild things in life difficult, and seem impossible. I have to remember that someone out there has done the things that I want to do, and because they have done means that I am just as capable of doing the same things. 

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

Photo Credit: Pablo Rivas Pablorivasphoto.com

Tomorrow is a new day, and a good day to start change. Right now, this moment is the best time to start a change. I can not wait for tomorrow, looking to the future is the same as dreaming and its not time to dream. Its time for action, this is Javi's Secret Project.  

The magic of the holidays

The holidays, I used to love this time of year when I was a child. No school for two weeks and presents, did I mention presents, and for a while there as an adult I hated this time of year. I used to think it was because I worked retail, but that wasn't the case, it lost its magic for me. I think thats because I started loosing the loved ones that I would spend my holidays with, high school is when my family started loosing loved ones in a dramatic fashion. Each loss to the family took some of that magic from it, and then it seemed like one day we just kinda gave up on the holidays and celebrating. I think the most important part of this time of year is the family and the loved ones that you surround yourself with, thats the magic. 

I remember one of the christmases when I was a child we were at my auntie Linda's, and she got me the best gift ever. You guys know what its like going to relatives house for christmas even as a child you never expected much. I went to her house with the same expectation, and man was I wrong she got me the matrix on DVD. The movie had just came out and she totally blew my mind with that gift. As a boy growing up in the 90's could you think of a better present, I couldn't. Shortly after that we lost her to lung cancer and it was ugly, cancer is always ugly even if you mange to beat it that journey is not a fun one. 

As a child I thought that was such a great gift because of the gift itself, and now looking back I know that wasn't the case. It was because she new me and it showed with that gift, thats what made it magical. Growing up as a child you find that not all adults get you, and the ones that do get you are family. They talk to you they love you, and are interested in what your interested in. 

I think thats why I have been so happy the past couple of days, I have friends and family that know me and love me for me. I have fond the magic of the holidays, it sure isn't the presents, as an adult i never expect to receive any materialistic gifts. Most people complain on how materialistic the holidays have become. I used to share the same thoughts, but now i get it when any of us buy a gift for someone we expect something in return. If your not a materialistic person then that thing you expect is a smile of appreciation, you don't need to hear thank you or that I love it. Seeing the look that a child would have when getting the toy that they want, in the face of an adult, is magic. Often times its not a gift that you can buy in a store just being there and spending time with those you care about is the magic.

May your holidays be filled with magic.  

Javi's Secret Project 

A special thanks to all my friends

Vallejo Water Front, love running at sunset  

Before I started on this journey of becoming healthy, I was a mess and couldn’t do anything that I wanted, I wanted to do so much, but one day I decided that enough was enough and began to workout. Then I began to train for the half marathon, the half marathon is the one thing that will helped me the most. It takes care of so many things that I had problems with. I was self-conscious about my body and the stamina that I had not being able to run for more then 20 or 30 feet before I would get winded. Self confidence is the most important thing to have to be successful. More important then raw talent or a hunger for bigger and better things, it helps to have raw talent and to be hungry but it doesn't  guarantee anything. You can have either of those talent or hunger but if your not confident enough to take the first step then you will never start.

Theres Cris's helping me on a run

For a while there I didn't have confidence, I had this work out plan showing how to train for a half marathon for over two years. I wanted to do the training but I wasn't confident that one I could do it, and two I didn't want to look like this fat guy that couldn't do shit. The fat guy that started running and got winded almost as soon as he started running, that was the guy I was scared of looking like. Well I was that guy I had to realize that and except who I was and who I became, once I became ok with the skin that I was in I reached out to a friend.

I have a friend named Cris who once was a fellow fat guy, he was the friend that I reached out to. I knew that of any of my friends he was the one that could help me out the most, he lived through what I’m living through after all. I still didn't have the self confidence to run on my own, but I did have enough confidence to start working out in my backyard. This is what I did for a while taking what Cris thought me at Evolution Training Center(if your interested in a cardio class or learning a thing or two about Muay Thai hit these guys up here tell them Javi sent you) and doing the same thing in the backyard. I would do at least 12 rounds, I was loosing weight and and my cardio was getting better and better. As it stood I couldn't even keep up with the warmups at the gym and I knew that the work out could be so much better if I had better cardio. Not to mention I wanted to RUN!! I have never ran more then 20 feet, I didn't know what it felt like just to let your body go on the run. Just relaxing and taking each step at a pace above walking feeling the wind brush against my face the whole time that I ran. I wanted to experience that and come to find out for heavy set people like my self running is the best way to cut the fat. I hit Cris up again this time instead of asking him to show me a thing or two about Muay Thai I asked him to help me train for this half marathon. 

Great Group of people thanks for welcoming me to the family 

In the journeys that we take we no longer need to be alone, we all should have friends either in the physical world or the virtual world that are there and have our backs. This world is to big and we are way to connected for someone not to have a friend or a support group, you just have to look. Cris and Jon were not the only ones that have helped me get to the 20lbs weight loss and the major jump in my cardio. Adam and Nancy have been in my corner just as much as Cris and Jon have been. To be honest I don't think that I could have done this with out them, and all of my other friends at work, on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. I know that I was the one that did the work, trust me I felt the pain that wasn't shared. All of my friends noticing my weight loss, I could see in their faces that they were happy for me. That me making myself better made them feel as good as it made me feel. 

This is why I am confident enough to write (never been the best writer, had always been a path with more resistance then I wanted) to go to the waterfront in vallejo and run on my own. Each every single one of my friends are a testament of my confidence, they helped build my confidence into a towering skyscraper. Like any good skyscraper once its built it no longer needs the contractor, it stands on its own, designed to take earthquakes and any other “bumps in the road”. 

Thanks to all My friends 

- Javi