Its not time to dream, its time for action

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

I no longer want to live my life giving excuses out, like free samples at Costco.  I never really thought that I was one to gives excuses, but I was. I was the type of person that if something happened or something didn't happen and it was my fault the first things out of my mouth were excuses. Instead of looking at what has happened and owning up to it and doing something about it to make it ok. I was saying what ever I need to, so that I could be ok with what happened or didn't. I cant do that any more, I can't tell myself its ok to be fat, its ok to be lazy, its ok to lay in bed for another couple of hours.

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

Excuse get me no where, they do nothing to resolve a situation, they do not mend relationships. All they are, are wasted breaths falling on deaf ears. Think about it do we ever really listen to someone when they are giving us an excuse. If we do listen, is it not so that we can in our heads say "ya ok, whatever you say bro". 

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

I have ran out of excuses, and its about time. Its time for action, its time for results, its time for change. I used to be In love with the dream, instead of being in love with the work. The work is the thing that makes the dreams come true. Its the work that makes it gratifying to do anything in life. That idea is so simple, but its true. If all I do is dream of being a director, being healthy, dream of not being single, then none of those things will come true. Once we have the idea ( the dream) in our heads that is enough to launch us in the right direction. 

Now I know what some of you are thinking its not that easy, I want to loose weight but I cant find the time. Well if you have time to dream about it and you have time to think of an excuse why you cant do it, then your not spending your time wisely. Thats all I did was dream about who I wanted to become, how I wanted to look, the career that I wanted to have. I was never spending my time wisely always fixated on the dream and not the work. The more time that I spent on dreaming about the changes that I wanted in life the further away my dreams seemed. 

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

these are the things that I am going to do, to make sure that the dreams come true. One I am no longer going to feel sorry for myself. Im not going to ask the heavens why or how come, even if the answers to my questions were out there I still have to do the work. Thats the second thing I am going to do, I'm going to do the work and focus on that. Not the result of the work or the dream, but instead the things that it takes to make those dreams come true. The results will fallow the work and the dreams will become real. 

So what work do I need to do? Well what are my dreams? One I want to be heathy mentally and physically. Two I want to be a creative, more prosaically I want to be a storyteller. I can be a storyteller in so many medians but my dream is to be a photographer/cinematographer, a screenwriter, a film editor, and a movie director.  Third I want to be an independent adult, that changes the world, and those around me for the better. I have so many more dreams and they are all still possible but these are the ones that give me chills, that make every hair stand one end. These are the things that I dream about more then any other. 

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

Ok, so now what? Well its finally time to talk about the actual work that needs to be done. The work that has to be done to make the dreams come true. To be physically healthier, I have to do my work outs I have to do push ups every night before bed, I have to run three or more times a week. I have to lift weights five times a week, I have to go to the gym and put in the work. I have to eat smaller portions and more often, I have to eat the things that I know I should and less of the things that I know I shouldn't. To be a storyteller in my chosen mediums, I have to be a student of life and the world around me. I have to see the photos around me, looking for visual beauty in everything. I have to listen the different stories of the day, asking what if this or this happened. Then play them out how in my head and write them down. I have to become a better writer to become a screenwriter. By writing my blogs, by writing out the stories that I have created in my head, and by reading and writing more, i will become a better . For me to become an independent adult, I have to stop relying on those around me. I can effect positive changes in others lives, by making mine better. Hoping in some way my story allows others to learn or to be inspired to change for the better. I want nothing more then for my friends wildest dreams to come true, and I can help them by being there for them. I have to be around, I have to be present in there life. The only way that i can change the world is one person at a time, if I can only change one persons life, then I have changed the world for the better. Now the most important my mental health, I need to stop hiding in my room, I have to stop feeling sorry for my self I can no longer give an excuses to myself or to my friends for the things that I need to do. I have to change my state of mind I have to happier, I can do this by celebrating the wins. Sacrifice, is the one thing that makes things more rewarding. At the same time it is the one thing that makes the worth wild things in life difficult, and seem impossible. I have to remember that someone out there has done the things that I want to do, and because they have done means that I am just as capable of doing the same things. 

Photo Credit: Javier Villagomez, Glass Cactus Productions

Photo Credit: Pablo Rivas Pablorivasphoto.com

Tomorrow is a new day, and a good day to start change. Right now, this moment is the best time to start a change. I can not wait for tomorrow, looking to the future is the same as dreaming and its not time to dream. Its time for action, this is Javi's Secret Project.  

Haven't Been this Happy in to Long

The last couple of days have felt a bit weird to me, and I don't know why. I have been happy, and a lot happier then I have in a while.  I am not sure why I was unhappy to begin with, and now I am not sure why I am happy now but it feels great. Being unhappy for a long period of time is scary, makes you just want to give it up on it all, now I am not saying that I was suicidal or anything like that. I was content with laying in bed all day and night, I was taking myself farther and farther away from all those around me. Now I feel invincible I can do it all, and nothing is out of my reach. I think I know what it is that makes me so happy, maybe its my friends, family, and weight loss.

Like I said I was sad for a while, its been years since I have been truly happy. The last time that I could remember being happy would have to have been in high school. High school was back in 2008 that was 6 years ago, not sure what started this but as time went on it got worse. I was a ghost for six years of my life just existing, I was just simply there and thats it.  Most of you would be surprised that was the case if not all of you, I put up this facade trying to pretend to be happy and for a while there it worked. I never wanted to go out and hang out with friends, I was never comfortable enough with myself to go out in the world. See I have never really accomplished anything of my own, I would ride on the coat tails of those closest to me.

How am I supposed to go out into the real world and survive when, I couldn't accomplished anything on my own. I have never said that out load or thought it but its how I felt, it was most apparent with the ladies. I was so insecure with myself that I couldn't see why any woman would want to be with me. " I don't even like me why should she" I would talk myself out of hanging out with the woman that I was talking to and make something up so that I wouldn't have to hang out with them. See then I didn't know that I was sad, I did know that something was wrong and that I needed to change that. I thought that it was just because I was lonely, but being lonely was a side affect of my sadness.

I had to fix my sadness before I could look at anything else, this is where Javi's Secret Project (JSP) came in and brought me back from the darkness. Like I said I have never really accomplished anything on my own, I was always sacred of failure and ridiculed for my failure. I thought that JSP would be that thing that I could accomplish on my own (ironically the first thing I did was bring in my best friend in on the idea) . First it was a business plan that i wanted to sell to nike, focusing on selling the idea of nike for over weight (or fellow fluffs) people rather then just athletes (still think this is a brilliant idea, consider it a free be nike). Well other then having a good idea how was I supposed to get my foot in the door with Nike, first thought was to build a fallowing on youtube which would Hopefully get Nikes attention. We had to figure out how was I supposed to get a good fallowing, we decided the best way to do so was to build a community on youtube. This was the evolution of JSP, then Adam asked me why not keep it for myself why sell this to some one. These were really good questions, I do like helping people and inspiring them. It honestly makes me feel good to help someones outlook on life for the better. Now JSP is mine with no intention of selling it, its about me getting healthy and hopefully in the process helping others to make their lives better in someway, to be Happy.

So it began, I first started working out in my backyard, I had a gym membership but I was to afraid of being "that fat guy" at the gym. The backyard workout consisted of shadow boxing for 12  three minute rounds with a one minute break in between each round. Oh and this is about 6 or so months after I "started" JSP, with the help of Adam we had created the 1st episode and that was about it. I did the shadow boxing for a while not really on a super constant bases but I was moving and loosing weight. That didn't feel right like I wasn't doing enough, I didnt have to push myself enough doing that. So I looked to running, I had this Magazine from Jamba juice teaching an inexperienced runner how to train for a half marathon. This was a crazy idea to me, and probably why it was so intriguing to me and so it began.

That was the best thing for me, running allowed to to accomplish something each time I ran. My first accomplishment was that first run/walk, it was 2 miles and I had to destroy myself at least thats what it felt like. It was 3min running fallowed by 1 min walk and repeated till i hit the 2 mile mark. Holy shit that was tough after that first 3 min run I was doubting if I could do the whole 2 miles, but I said fuck it i just have to finish. I couldn't have done it with out my run partner, Cris kept pushing me making sure I kept breathing and I kept moving forward. I'm sure that I would have given up on the run if he wasn't there to push me, but still I had to do it I could have easily said fuck it I'm done but I didn't that wasn't an option. 

This project involves so many people other then myself and together we have accomplished so much. All of the people  that ran with me, recorded the color run, liked any one of my JSP related post on social networking sites, or bought tamales every single one of I owe you so much and I am so grateful for your support. Thanks for being yourselves and thank you for helping me accomplish things that I have never thought I would be able to.  

Writing this blog entire has made me reflect on this past year, and I now know why I am happy. I accomplished many great things, I have helped inspired friends to make their lives better, I lost 71 lbs, and I have friends and family that love me. I cant help but be happy, my future is still just as uncertain today as it was a week ago. The only thing  thats different is that I am no longer scared of facing my future I am no longer alone. 

Scariest Day of my Life

You'll never guess what happened to me today, this morning I had the worst headache that I have ever had. It was defiantly a Migraine, I know that it was a migraine, for one the amount of pain that I was in, two it made my vision blurry and any bright light or sound was like someone jamming an icepick into my temple. The last thing that told me that this was a migraine was the fact that i was throwing up and dry heaving all over the place. It was by far the worst thing that I have experienced to date, the only thing that seemed to make it feel better was sleep, because while in sleep you don't register the pain in the conscious mind.

It all started last night when I first started getting a headache, I had decided that I didn't want take anything because it really wasn't that bad. That was the big mistake the next thing I know I am waking up at 7 in the morning and my head is pounding. I feel pain at the base of my head where it meets my neck and I feel it in my temples. The pain in my neck felt like someone was hitting my with their fist over and over again, each time it throbbed with pain was a strike. The worst part was my temples, imagine someone taking their thumbs and pushing as hard as they can on each temple. Luckily when I was throwing up it was early in the morning and all I had in my stomach was water (side note if i had a choice of one thing to throw up it would be water the best of the worst) and for some reason the rush of blood to my head made the pain go away temporarily. That stopped a few minutes after I started dry heaving and the pain was even worse.

At this point the two alive that I had taken already went down the toilet, but i didn’t want to attempt to put anything else in my stomach. So I took an ice pad out of the freezer and rested my head on it so that the ice was touching the base of my head where it meets my neck. Really all you can do in this situation is to ice your head while laying down in a quite dark room until the pain goes away. Sleep is the best, yea you may wake up and its only a little bit better but you didn't have to sit in that pain for the three hours it took for the pain to drop. Thats what happened to me i woke up at like 7 am  with the margarine and fell asleep around 8 am, and woke up at 11 my head still pounding. this time my vision wasn't blurry and it wasn't anywhere near as bad as it was. I was able to take some alive and keep it down, it is now 3 pm and I no longer feel any headache of any sort. 

That whole thing was insane, to even think about gives me a slight chill. The scariest thing was after words, when I tested my blood sugar. My father thought that it would be a good idea because the blurry vision is a diabetic symptom. It was scary because I am a heavy set Mexican with a family history of diabetes. I have all of the pre coursers for it, I didn't want to have this and for that reason alone I almost didn't take the test. I took the test and my blood sugar reading came out to be 129, which is pre diabetic, talk about scary. 

Its up to me now to fix that, I have already started on this road of having a normal good sugar reading, The only thing is for some reason I haven't really thrown myself into the weight loss way of life. I don't really eat the right stuff or at the right times I don't drink enough water during the day and i don't work out as much as I should. I have no clue why this is. its seems as though  I have alway been that type of person. I will throw my self into a project or an idea, but I never really jump in and slowly move further and further away from what I started. I started to do this with my weight loss, I haven't ran in a week!! Not a single mile I told my friends it was because I wanted to spend time with my family instead of running. Which is a BULL SHIT excuse I could go run for the 30-40 minutes that it takes me and still have the rest of the day to be with my family. 

No more!! Will I fall victim to my own self sabotages i can not listen to my head when it comes to this. Part of the reason why I wanted to tape and talk about my weight loss on the internet was so that I could be held accountable for what I am trying to do. I was afraid that my desire to be healthy was not enough and come to find out its not. It takes action, I have to keep my head up an acknowledge the good that I have done, and keep it moving forward. 

I do know that I excel in a structured based system, but this is life and it doesn't have structure that I excel in. Life is more fluid like the ocean, as a whole constantly changing with the coming tide. Even though life may always be changing that doesn't mean we cant build our own structure in it, to better ourselves. This is exactly what I am going to do, I am going to build my own system taking the knowledge that I have and adapting it to fit my likes the best. This is going to go past when, where, who, and how im going to work out, its going to be about how i want to live the next couple of years of my life. So the next couple of post are going to be all about adding structure to my life. 

Super Hero training

Yesterday I was worried about what I had to do, I was more or less scared that I wasn't going to be bale to do my work out. It was raining so I had to go to my gym and run, instead of the water front in vallejo like I usually do. It had been way to long since Ive been to the gym, and let me tell you how awesome this place is. It has a swimming pool, hot tube, sauna,basketball court, and all the other stock gym machines and weights. It has everything that I could want or need, and now that I have lost the weight and doing things have become that much easier I cant wait to play on all the things that they have. I am most excited about basketball I feel like I have a fighting chance now that I’m smaller and have better cardio. I don't know how to explain it, I feel like my eyes are open to a whole new realm of possibilities.

Loosing weight is like training to become a super hero, you can run faster jump higher you become stronger. You start to build confidence to do anything things that you worried about in the past is no longer a concern. I would worry about so much all of it was weather or not I was being judged. I would worry about being judged at the gym “look at this fat guy, cant even run a mile under 14 min”, “he doesn’t know what he’s doing, look at him how could he know. Doesn’t look like he works out” is what I used to imagine people were saying in the back of there heads. I no longer do this, I think it was because I was unsure about what I should do. When I went to the gym in the past I never went with a sense of purpose when I was there. I would just move from one random machine to the next, never really working on cardio. Being at the gym yesterday non of that happened I had a sense o
f purpose at the gym. I was training to be a super hero.

A couple of things were different this time, one i had a mission and the only reason why i was there was to run. Two I knew what I was doing, I was going to run/walk 7 miles at what pace and  an idea of how long it would take. Three I made that gym my gym, no one else was there. The first two are about having the knowledge which is key to anything. We as a species fear the unknown, not knowing is the reason for negative thoughts and/or action by a human being. I didn't know what I was doing in the past and thats why negative thoughts, became afraid and was thinking about negative things. When I was at the gym this time I was afraid, but this time it was weather or not I could do the 7 miles. I knew how to do it, but I didn't know if I could, and the only way I was going to find out was to do it one step at a time. Being at the gym with out a trainer of any sort your not going to obtain the knowledge that you need. At that stage my time would have been better spent on research and not at the gym. 

I felt like batman, a man who once feared and who now uses fear as a tool in his utility belt. No longer afraid of what I used to be concurring that allowed me to become “Batman” just like it did for Bruce Wayne. If you think about it Batman is nothing more at the minimum a well trained human being. Other then him not being real and not having his money, why cant any of us the other human beings become Batman? Why cant we be well trained human beings? Any reason that you come up with is B.S. and I do mean any reason. I know of people in wheel chairs training for the olympics they are training to be Batman. So when are you going to start your super hero training?

P.S. Which super hero would you be if you had a choice of any hero dc or marvel? Ironically I would be the Green Lantern, with a full charge on his ring a lantern would stomp all over Batman. With out the ring (not a lantern) Batman would destroy him. Leave a comment below!!

My first 7 mile run can I do it?

Today I have to run 7 miles!! Man that just sounds crazy to me, I do know from last week’s long run I definitely need to pace myself at. I know how to run now and I’ve been doing runs in the past that I never thought I would be able to do, 7 miles still sounds crazy to me. So what do I do, how do I do this? Well it’s pretty simple, one step at a time. Sounds to simple but for me right now I've already done the training for it, so really I just HAVE to do it one step at a time.

So what are the steps before I run these 7 miles? The first one is getting your head right, you have to be at a point of wanting to do it and not needing to do. Their is a big difference between the two, we all have a list of things that we “need” to do  and never gets done. So having the need isn't enough you have to want it. For me it took me getting upset with where I let myself go. I was tiered of it, finding cloths that I like but don't fit, waking up and being aware of my body, being overly insecure (its a human trait, everyone is insecure one way or another)about myself, and the list goes on and on. Nothing could be done to address these issues that I had with myself other then me doing work and start working out. 

When I started I didn't know what I was doing other then the little bit that I had learned over the years. I took what I knew and put it to use, I wasn't worried about what I was going to do next or how long I was going to work out. The important thing is that I wanted it so bad that it didn't matter I just went out there and start doing something. Wanting it made it easier for me to push myself, made it easier to motivate myself not to quite. All of this is due to the fact that I truly want this, if I didn't want this then I would have never ran 2 miles, then 3 miles, then 5 miles, then another 5 miles, and then 4 miles. The 4 mile run was supposed to be a 6 mile run, I didn't make it because I pushed to hard in the beginning try to beat my 1st mile time and my 5k time. Thats what I learned from that, the long runs are not for breaking any other record of mine other then milage. 

After that First work out I went to the internet, looking for anything that I could find on loosing weight. Reading blogs and googling and googling, is all I did for about a week straight, then while I was cleaning my room I found the answer that I was looking for. It was in a free magazine that I got at a jambajuice years ago, It had in it a 12 week program teaching you how to run a Half Marathon. It was designed for beginners which I was and I started to fallow it kinda, I would guess-tamate what the milage was and I wasn't running as hard as I should have. All that changed when I hit up my buddy Cris explaining to him what I wanted to do and that I just needed his help as a workout buddy. Man did I pick the right guy he taught me things about running and breathing that I wouldn't have figured out on my own, and he used to be a big guy like me. So he really knows what its like to be a big guy and to loose it all and keep it off. Everyone isn’t going to have a friend like that they can run with or have been through what your going through. Thats where I come in hopefully my blog post help some of you and I turn into that friend for you. 

Javi's Secret Project

So some of you may have noticed me using this #javissecretproject, and my blogg title “Javi’s Secret Project” and you don’t know what it is. Well Its about me loosing weight, most of you are probably thinking thats not a big surprise. Its more then just me loosing the weight, its about me taking my life by the horns doing things that can’t be done by others. In other words its what I need to do today to have a better tomorrow. My goals today are to loose weight and doing anything that I can with film, thats what I want to do for the rest of my life, to tell stories and to be healthy. Those are my secret projects they are things that only I can do, no one can make me the next big thing in film, I have to do the work I have to create, to reach that point. Obviously the weight loss has to be done by me no one can lose the weight for me, they can lose weight while I lose weight but they cant run in my place. 

I have one more secret, I am going to take my two passions one new one (running/ healthy lifestyle), and two the old one (film/story telling) and combine them together into a film project. With the help of some like minded friends we are building our own production company and this is going to be our first film project. The goal of this project is to build a community of people doing the things that they are passionate about despite what life throws at them. This community is going to show the world that we being humans are capable of doing anything no matter how hard the path we can do it. This is how I hope to change the world for the better by opening peoples eyes to the possibilities of what this world has to offer and holding nothing back. 

In this project I am going to try and show that I am by no means perfect or even close to it. I am simply a human being and by definition I am imperfect, like all of you. One thing that I can guarantee for everyone out there no matter the Secret Project, all of us will fail. It’s okay to fail, thats something most people loose sight of. Failure can bring us so many good things such as, learning about faults that we weren't aware of prior, a new sense of purpose or drive, and it takes away the fear of failing. I want to be as open as possible I want all of you to see me fail, I want you to see me get back up and fight even harder. 

Together we can change the world, this is Javi’s Secret Project. 

P.S. Tell me about your “Secret Project” in the comments below. What is it, how do you hope to accomplish it?

WORK OUT LIKE A GIANT WITH MICHAEL STRAHAN

Full body workout, looking at doing some lifting once I hit the plato trying to think ahead. I also Found a while ago a full body workout that the rock was doing for pain and gain. Let me know if you're interested, and I'll find it and post it for you guys.

Get bigger, faster, and stronger by following, set-by-set, with former New York Giant Michael Strahan.

BY  MF EDITORS 

Peter Yang

 852 

  321 Google +25  27 Print

Strahan trains five days a week with a whole-body circuit that incorporates vertical and horizontal push and pull movements, a mix of hip- and knee- dominant exercises, rotational movements, and core work. “My philosophy is making sure our workouts are functional, so that Michael doesn’t throw out his back picking up a grocery bag,” says Latreal Mitchell, Strahan’s trainer. “We train in all planes of motion and keep it challenging.” Here’s a typical week:

MONDAY

JUMP SQUAT	4 sets x 5 reps
SINGLE-LEG SQUAT	4 sets x 10 reps
DEADLIFT	4 sets x 10 reps
BENCH PRESS	4 sets x 10 reps
DUMBBELL ROW	4 sets x 10 reps
PUSH PRESS	4 sets x 10 reps
ONE-ARM LAT PULLDOWN	4 sets x 10 reps
HIGH-to-LOW WOODCHOP	4 sets x 10 reps
PLANK WALKUP	45-60 seconds

Checkout the full workout and original post here 

Living with fear

Im sitting here at the island in my kitchen, the day after my first 5k run. I have ran the 3.11 miles in the past but never non stop. This time was different, I was wasn't running with a partner and I ran 2.86 miles and walked .25 miles. Never really thought that I would be able to run half a mile let alone 3. It feels good to prove myself wrong mentally and physically all though I am a little sore (just means I actually improved). I have always been my worst critic the one that has talked myself out of so many things. Its weird how we self sabotage sometimes, we want something new in our lives but for some reason when that new thing starts turning into a habit we do something to derail our train. I don't know the reason for everyone else's self sabotage, but mine is because I'm scared of failure. Im not alone in this fear, everyone has it we just handle it differently, some of us are able to use this as a muse and never look back. Other such as myself sees the task at hand and the amount of work and effort that has to go into and that scares use. What happens if I give it my all, I put in all this blood, sweat and tears and nothing comes of it?   The ironic thing is I want nothing more then for my wildest Dreams to come true, but my fear of failing prevents me form making them come true. I tell myself that Im not afraid to fail, that I actually welcome it, for a story with failure init can make some of the best stories out there. I may lie to myself about not being afraid, saying it out loud to friends and to myself or even in my head over and over again. It doesn't change anything lying to myself that is, I think the first thing is to become realistic with myself. Admitting that fear does lives with me everyday, it is a survival instinct after all its meant to put me on my toes. Making me ready to fight or to take flight, in this moment I should harness the fear like a super hero does his power and use it to rescue me from my mediocre life. It works!! Ive used this fear to motivate me forward in the direction that I want to take. The first thing was working out on a regular basses starting the journey of a healthy life. I was afraid of attempting to lose weight again, because if I fail at this it means my life. That fear turned into jet fuel for my rockets, its propelled me to run, then to run even faster, and to push when I say I have no more. I used to hate the days after a good work out, those days were some of the sorest days I have ever had. Now, for one I don't get any where as sore as I used to get and if I'm not sore enough then I know that I need to push even harder next time. I love the pain the next day because it really isn't the type  pain that distracts you it just simply there to remind you that you had a successful day yesterday.          

The Mental Struggle

Hello everyone, my name is Javier Villagomez and I’m fluffy and tiered of it. Today is the first day, not to train or to start to lose the weight but the first day that I openly speak my mind about it. I have already started to loose some weight and as of yesterday I am at 289.1lbs which is down from 309lbs. So I have had some success (with training for half marathon), but like most fluffy people the number on the scale is not the only thing that needs to get fixed. The mind is just as important, it has to get fixed just as bad as that number on the scale. With out the right state of mind you are doomed to fail at anything in life, the brain our most powerful and versatile muscle. This is where I am going to exercise that muscle, days that I want to say something I will get on here and do just that. I want to dedicate this first blog to my good friend Jon Boo, of all my friends the one that was the most relentless about me starting this very blog. 

Javi